


I'm Coming Home

by UNICORNZWAG



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Grand Theft Auto Setting, Drug Use, Forced Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, It's super ambiguous, Past Torture, Poetry, Prostitution, i swear it's not as bad as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-11
Updated: 2017-01-11
Packaged: 2018-09-16 17:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9283109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UNICORNZWAG/pseuds/UNICORNZWAG
Summary: Stream of consciousness of a man on the edge.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Took a creative writing prompt that was just "alphabet." Words with links are just to definitions because they're a little obscure.

Another day, another dollar -

  * A car pulls up, fancy, somebody rich, definitely. Good, I could use a client with money. The window rolls down revealing a crude looking man with greasy hair. “How much?” I up the price for pricks with money. “500.” “This better be worth it, kid. Get in.”



Beseeching the gods in vain that I escape this hell -

  * I’m back at the gang’s HQ, feeling dirty. Boss took more of my profits than usual so that sucks. Some jobs today hurt. People can be way too rough. I’m covered in bruises. Going to have to cover up for a few days.



Counting my lucky stars that at least I’m not dead… yet -

  * It could be worse though. Someone could have killed me years ago when my life actually meant something. I’m alive, at least… if that’s what you’d call this.



Daring to dream of a way out -

  * I remember when this first happened, after the crew was compromised, when I was tortured and forcibly taken like somebody’s whore, but I guess that’s all I am now.



Escaping into my mind for just a moment -

  * I sit, beaten and bloodied on the floor, my clothes in shreds, and I have no idea what to do now. The world is still spinning around me, but I cannot seem to focus on it. I think it’s better just to sit here and forget about it for a while.



Falling into old habits -

  * The needle pinches, but I barely feel it as I chase my escape. It’s not as good as actually getting myself out, but it might as well be. It feels so good to be able to forget what a disgusting human being I am for a while.  



[ Garrulous ](http://www.dictionary.com/browse/garrulous)nature forgotten at this point -

  * I used to be so talkative, always a million dollar question or would you rather, with ridiculous outcomes. My mind used to run a mile a minute, but now, it’s better, safer, to just stay quiet and do what people want.



Hiding from myself -

  * It’s really not so bad though! All I’m good for anyway is something to use, a hole to do with what people choose. It could always be worse. The bruises aren’t so bad, the broken bones could be worse… it could all be worse.



[ Insipid ](https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/insipid)with my life -

  * It’s not that I don’t care anymore, it’s just… unimportant. If I’m so worthless, then so is my life altogether.



Jarring realizations -

  * I’m not only being taken advantage of, but there’s no way out at this point. The boss will never give be an out. He will never let me be anything other than what he thinks I deserve to be… what I _do_ deserve to be.



Kindness only a _nostalgic_ memory -

  * I remember back when I did matter. I remember Dan smiling at my stupid jokes and cutting class and shooting up in the backseat of a beat up car. I remember caring for people and being cared for. I remember it… I think I remember it.



Longing for old times -

  * I remember before the crew fell apart. I remember game nights in the Penthouse, wrestling with Geoff, Jack mother-henning, arguing with Ryan, Lad-Time with my boi Micoo and my X-Ray. Iremember when anyone who showed us any animosity was dead in a day. I remember having a family.



Morals destroyed -

  * I remember the day we were taken down. I remember being tortured and watching my crew die. I remember when everything I valued and cared about was ripped from me. I remember being given the choice of death or prostitution… I remember choosing wrong.



No way out -

  * I can’t get out of this. They’ll find me. They’ll hurt me worse than I’ve been hurt already. They’ll kill me. They win if that happens.



Only one way out -

  * But they don’t win if I do it myself.



Panorama of my city -

  * From up here, the city I used to rule spreads out before me. I can see the little people we used to terrorize, the streets we roamed without a care. What kind of fucking karma is this?



Quiet now -

  * The incessant buzzing in my head has finally stopped. The sound of crying and flesh beating flesh has stopped. I can’t hear anything anymore.



Reflecting on the past -

  * I don’t know if they would have wanted me to do this. There were always times when people had moments of doubt back in the day. Ray would O.D. after a tough job and we’d have to save him, or Ryan would disappear and we’d tell him it was time for a murder break when he got home covered in blood. We always took care of each other. I think they would have been okay with me taking care of myself just this once.



Stopping time -

  * I take a step forward, my toes over the edge of the building. Ray and I used to sit up here. I’d forgotten how beautiful it is.



Torrent of emotions -

  * Suddenly, I’m overcome. I can’t fathom that this is where my life has brought me. I feel too many things all at once. I’m struck with a sadness bordering on agony, yet a joy at almost being rid of my retched life, a fear of what comes next, and an uncertainty that there’s even anything at all.   



Understanding that this is the only choice -

  * But, I know this is the only way. I can almost hear them now, “Gavvy, it’s time to come home.”



[ Vindicat](http://www.dictionary.com/browse/vindicate)ing my own decision -

  * I need to do this. It makes the most sense. I’ll finally be free (haha, Free) of all my troubles. It is justified. There is no where else to turn.



Wishing for a new story -

  * People say, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade,” and damn did we. Sweet, adrenaline filled, bloody, beautiful, powerful lemonade out of this city, but when you keep lemonade for too long it gets sour and spoiled. I wish we had drunk it when we had the chance, because now it’s only a memory tainted with the faces of a family that’s gone.



[ Xenacious ](http://www.wordcentral.com/byod/byod_search.php?term=xenacious&type=exact) with nowhere else to turn -

  * I yearn for another path, but this is the only one. It keeps repeating itself in my mind that this may be the wrong choice.



Yelling silently -

  * I am deathly quiet as I tip forward. I feel the wind whip around me, the biting cold a relief in the face of all the pain I’ve endured. My mind yells out, but not in panic or upset, but jubilation.



[ Zeal ](http://www.dictionary.com/browse/zeal?s=t) of life destroyed -

  * I have no more passion for this life. That passion died months ago, with them. I should have gone with it when I was still myself. I’m finally at peace for the first time in so long as all I can feel is my stomach drop as I careen through the air toward my crew, standing with open arms on the sidewalk. I get one last view of the city that used to be mine before I close my eyes.



“I’m coming home, boys.”

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love some criticism (or compliments?) down in the comments. <3


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